Courtney Lewis

I'm Sorry

Courtney,

I want to say sorry for the way I was talking to you earlier today. It was one of those feelings for me where I couldn’t take no more. I just want your support hunny, and I know you’d give me all of that but I couldn’t help you talking about my friend that way. I always stick up for him, and you and all my other close friends and there’s not too many of them. I know what it’s like to be the friend you can always depend on and I know what it’s like to be the friend that’ll come through for whatever and I appreciate you being that for me which is why I’m writing this. I was upset because I felt like you weren’t fully supporting me on my decisions with you know what, and I got a little more defensive than expected and I’m saying sorry because I know you were only trying to help me. But I want you to know that I’m going to be okay…I know you’ll always worry about me, and that’s fine, just trust in me that I will be alright. Trust me, no nigga will ever put me down, I may get hurt and I will cry, but I got some strong arms to pull myself back up again and a strong heart to allow those who want to help me up help me up as they wish. All I’m asking is that you support me, and trust that I’m happy. And I’m sorry for bringing up ol’ boy. I just wanted you to know how I felt about it, but I’ll let you in on something, that I never judged you nor him because I knew that I was only the outside looking in…I knew that what I was seeing wasn’t what you were seeing and that’s what I expect from you because I know that you of all my friends can relate. You’re like my mini-me, and I’m not saying that I know everything you been through but I can relate…However I don’t tell you what to do because I know that you’ll make the right choice in the end and if not then I’ll be there to listen and only listen. We all have to learn the ways of life on our own sometimes, and situations like this, are meant to be handled by the heart, not the brain…I been in your place before and I’m making it out just fine, and I know you’re going through some of the same things, which is why I always volunteer gas money, and volunteer a smarter choice in party plans because I know that you’re always looking out for me. I got your back Courtney. I didn’t mean to yell, I was just sick of people thinking bad about my friend and I do the same with you and people who got shit to say about you. Just as you have been there for those random ass niggas who take advantage of you, I’m there for you. Trust me, I been that friend for way too long with soooooo many people and I know how it feels to feel like you ain’t got nobody to depend on when you need it the most. And don’t ever think I’m taking your friendship for granted or that I’m ever lying to you...Trust me I hear what you be asking, “Did you go over _____’s?” or “Did she give him food?” Lol I know, and the answer is no for both by the way…I will never use you to give ANYONE the benefit of your friendship unless I got a way to compensate for it. I’ll always keep it real with you and I will never ever EVER judge you and your decisions. I may not like it, and I will say it IF necessary but in the end, you got the choice. I will never tell you what to do because I know you’ll do the right thing because when I look at you, I see a younger me, and I always make it out of a ditch…no matter how muddy, deep, and spider-filled it is (lol) I always make it out, just like you will in all your cases. Again, sorry for yelling, that was rude on my part *rude* but just do me one tiny favor, and be my support system, I already got a mommy that endlessly tells me what I should do, and she says it in all different kinds of languages if she could lol…Be my friend, my support system, my mini-me…because I love you little C Lew. ♥

~Fo

Terrilyn Dennie

This was long overdue. . .

I met Terrilyn J. Dennie when I was a sophomore in high school. I was accepted into this program at Indiana University called "Camp SOUL" and it was by far a life changing experience for me at the age of 15 lol. On the bus ride there she encouraged us all to showcase our talents, in which case all of the vocalists had to sing leaving the instrumentalists the only option to listen. Because I was very shy back then, and socially awkward it was difficult for me to sing in front of all my soon-to-be new friends but I did anyway! One thing with Terrilyn that I catch myself still doing, is that her ideas and everything she did seemed to be acceptable and she immediately made me feel comfortable. I think this is her natural gift because from what I see, she has that effect on people. The mystery behind the nickname most of my friends call me started with this woman and her younger sister and I will probably have this nickname for the rest of my life (FoFo). Lol

I loved our memories of camp SOUL together, it would be me, her and Adrianna that stayed up late at night talking and goofing around. It wasn't until I actually got in college where we spent more time together and to this day, I will never change anything from my freshman year because it took our friendship to a whole new level. More memories of us consist of us singing together in I Want God conferences put on by our close friends and always something arts related with our mutual friends like LaTroy Hampton. One memory that mostly always brings a tear to my eye is my last fashion show in Bloomington with the Epiphany Modeling Troupe. I was helping LaTroy and a few others with the show and after it was all over we, Terrilyn, LaTroy, Cheryl, a few others and myself all went to Applebees. I had no money. . .and was still hanging around the wrong people then, so this outing with the friends who REALLY cared about me was most definitely needed. I remember someone saying something about me and my ex that I continued having relations with, and Tbaby said, "leave FoFo alone, she's a woman now and she knows what she's doing" or something close to it. She always held me close to her heart, and thankfully I don't talk to the guy anymore but it was Tbaby that seemed to support me wholeheartedly because she saw how in love I was. Even though it was completely stupid for me to linger around, she loved me anyway. =)

Not only is Terrilyn a comfortable person to be around, she is most definitely the only friend I consider to be a lot like myself in this aspect: she forgives easily but carefully. I've never known Terrilyn to be a person who holds grudges and I think it's because of her natural motherly character and her strong relationship with God that builds this trait of hers. I love her for her ability to have fun without having to resort to any kind of drug, she is always on a natural, euphoric high lol. I also admire her smile and her lovely singing voice! Terrilyn is also known for being a motherly figure to her camp SOUL kids, GROUPS kids, the Black and Gold Pageant contestants, and many other programs with people she cares about. I don't think I've ever heard a bad thing said about Tbaby other than she's a goofball and can't concentrate on getting work done lol. But when she isn't surrounded by her close friends, she will most definitely get the job done! Tbaby went to East Chicago Central High School and graduated from Indiana University in 2010. She loves the Lord, a lot! and she's a good cook and singer. Among many other things, Terrilyn is good at almost anything except being fake. She will ALWAYS be honest with you for your benefit. From what I hear, she's doing really well for herself since graduation, she now lives in Tennessee. I know she is more than happy if her job is working with children and music, she loves both!

I will forever linger on our memories together and I never thought I would ever hurt Tbaby, but if it wasn't for the blessing I wouldn't see how much more beautiful a person she truly is. I look up to her in ways that she probably doesn't know and hope one day to be as talented, spiritual and blessed as she is. I love you Tbaby.

Sachet, Jordan, & Bridget

~Sachet Watson~

When I moved out of Willkie Sophomore year into Briscoe Sachet was one of the first people I met [thanx "mom" aka Sarah & Alana]. Me & Sachet instantly clicked because of how alike we are. We are both crazy as heck, random, & have a love for music! And it was Sachet that brought me closer to Christ & does so everytime we talk about life choices & decisions which is a lot lol. I just met Sachet however I know that there's nothing I can't do for her. I hope & know all will go well in her life because she is doign all the right things. I absolutely adore Sachet for her lifted, strong & random spirit ^_^ Driving in the car with her sitting shotgun singing KC & JoJo songs & dancing on Gucker 3 & "marching" down the halls is what we do!

~Jordan Avenger~

JoJo fa Sho Sho! She's pretty cool & loves to lip sync to almost anything! Lol. Me & Jordan haven't known each other too long but we're so much alike when it comes to our random moments & lack of hearing what is being said lol. Jordan draws these pictures that I believe are freakin awesome because of how easy she makes it look! You'll definitely see mroe of Jordan & her drawings here but I hope that our friendship gets stronger & lasts for a long time! ^_^

~Bridget Price~


Bridge! Omg, I love Bridget. It's amazing how we can just act so silly around each other & then talk about serious matters. It is surprisingly easy for me to talk to Bridget about anything, I've already told her some of my darkest secrets & she doesn't judge me at all! Bridget has to be at least 35% African American because I swear she's got a mind like a Black teenage girl lol. She's the realest girl I ever met! Lol Bridget is probably one of the strongest women I've met esp after all she's talked to me about...I pray for Bridget & her family often now because I care for this crazy woman ^_^. The best part of me & Bridget's friendship is our texting frenzies lol...

Teddy Johnson & Nic Carothers

~Teddy MJ~

LOL....that is all I can say. I haven't known him long but one thing's for sure, we're great friends! Teddy started off as a meal point fiend but he grew on me & I decided why not be friends? Lol ok half of the story is true but Teddy is one the funniest friends I have. Teddy was there for me even when I didn't know I was facing one of the biggest struggles in my life...Teddy gives me great advice on bad situations in my life esp with my family drama...He's a motivator esp when it comes to me cause he believes in me when I don't believe in myself sometimes. I hope that Teddy & I stay friends for a long time because real friends like him are hard to come by. He's honest and knows how to treat a lady because of the way he lived way back in the day when he was better looking, lol jp.

~Nic Carothers~

This everyone is one of the best mentors you can possibly have lol. I've known Nic since before my freshman year of college and it was funny because at first sight he thought I was his fiance (pictured above)! Lol! Well from then on we became great friends and later formed a family-like bond whereas we told each other everything. I call him "dad" and he's been the dad I've always wished for [no offense to my real dad lol]. If I catch myself in a struggle I know he'll do his best to be there and I'm speaking from experience. I know that whatever I do he appreciates and respects my decisions not only because he said so but because I know he wants me to learn on my own and I appreciate him so much for that! I admire his life and where it's going because of how happy he is and I only hope the best for him because of what's been to me and he's just genuinely a great person. I know that Nic will someday soon leave to start a brand new chapter of his life and I wish he could stay a little longer because we haven't been spending a lot of family time together but I know and support him in whatever he does because I love him like my own family. When I look at Nic, I see a man of great destiny and a person who changed my life in so many ways just by giving me an example of who a caring person is.

Jonathan Tarver

~Jonathan Tarver~

This is one of the VERY FEW male friends I have that sincerely wants just a friendship out of me and I respect this man out of them all the most. JT is there for me through whatever even when I'm making stupid mistakes & in a huge pickle. I can tell him virtually anything without feeling guilty or bad because I know he don't judge me. He is a really good friend & I think everyone should have a friend like him. Me & JT haven't known each other long but it seems like we are very much alike. I know that JT will always be there for me no matter what because there has been times in the past that I have just tossed him aside & yet we're still friends. I appreciate all that he's done for me & he's one I can depend on for certain things. JT is like a prophet sometimes because most of his predictions always come true lol...There's been a couple times where it freaked me out how right he was about some of my situations. I pray for JT & that every one of his aspirations become fulfilled because all in all, he deserves it. JT is one of the best advisors I've ever had & I hope that we can stay friends for a very very long time...I know that I haven't been too good of a friend to JT but I know that he puts up with me because he has faith in me, which brings me to another point; JT is a faithful man of God & yes he makes mistakes but he's man enough to know that he's not perfect & does his best to become everytime he makes a mistake. JT is an all-around type of guy, he's pretty diverse when it comes to character & he has a wide variety of taste when it comes to music, I think this is why we're such good friends & communicate so well. JT is my friend, I'll do everything I can to keep our friendship strong & hopefully it'll get stronger. If I was a man [God forbid lol] JT would definitely be my best man ^_^ that's just how great of a person he is


~Bio of JT~


Jonathan Tarver was born October 19, 1988 & graduated from East Chicago Central High School. He's interested in the arts particularly Drama & Music. JT loves his friends (esp the ones in his top 5 ^_^) . There are times where JT might be a little quiet but it's only because he's thinking; whether it's good or bad I have not a clue. JT has a problem with multi-tasking, he has a one track mind lol. JT likes having roast sessions & thinks his jokes are funny...well they're not all funny JT sorry lol. JT has a lot of love & care in his heart for those who care about him & he loves to drink milk with almost every sweet thing he eats. JT can be very lazy sometimes...lol but that's just the way he is, it will get done whatever the task it is he has to do but it won't be done for awhile that's all lol. JT is a swell guy, there's not much you can do to get him upset. He plays on IU's bowling team! JT is also very friendly & he can play the piano [note: whenever he STARTS to play, there's one particular song he will play lol]. He admires Marlon's piano skills, lol. He loves good music, some of his favorites include works by PJ Morton, Day26, Brutha, & ol' school joints, the good ones lol. As far as JT's goals in life, for all I know JT just wants to make an impact in someone's life. I believe that his faith in Christ & love for music will fulfill his goals.


~Favorite Memories with JT~


My all time favorite memory with JT was when I used to visit him on Atkins 3 all the time! LOL good times, preferably when we used to "tipee" people in the shower lol [for those who don't know what that is it's when you throw a bunch of toilet tissue in the shower when someone's in there lol]. Me & JT used to always go to either Wright or the Bistro to eat but our favorite place to go was the Willkie C Store whenever we got hungry. We were hungry buddies for awhile & everytime we made a run one of us would pay for the whole ^_^. I remember when we used to party like ALLLLL the time *RIP "Full House =[* & I remember going over Tdenn's house with JT, when it used to be just us 3...good times...I remember when JT used to visit me all the time when I stayed in Willkie [i was going thru some crazy stuff then]...I remember when he bought that Wii from that old lady & kept it in my room too & I remember beatin him at Mario Kart 64! Yessss! Oh yeah! AND I remember beatin him at 2K8 too! Lol. I remember bringing him lunch once when we both were working at the mall & I remember taking IU Safe to Tdenn's house with him too! I remember when me & JT used to walk everywhere on campus. I remember our talks about guys & girls & another g word...graduating. I remember when he used to use my dang computer everytime he came to visit lol...I also remember fallin asleep when he was in my room on that same computer lol. I remember when I bought these saddle shoes & how geeked he was when he saw I had em lol. I remember going to that Halloween Party @ Willkie & how we got the party started lol. And lastly I remember how he still was my friend after I dissed him so many times, I appreciate it more than he'd ever know...

Mario Brown

~Mario L Brown~

This man here means so much to me it's ridiculous. I met Mario at a party and we were friends ever since then. We've had so many ups and downs it's ridiculous but he was one that always either came back or was still there without me noticing. He probably doesn't know it but now I listen to him every chance I get because he can spit some wisdom without being mindful of what he's actually saying lol. I believe that God has blessed me with Mario for a reason and until that reason be found, I will forever wonder the many "what-ifs" with him. Mario does more for me than ANYONE could ever know and even though we've had our share of mistakes we still hold on strong to our friendship. He is my friend, first love, and everything more. I believe this is one of the few men that I respect and love wholeheartedly. He was there for me when I needed him and he was definitely one person that taught me so many lessons. Mario is one of the most unique people you'll ever meet & I love that the most about him. I love Mario with all my heart and there's no task too big that I wouldn't do for him within my reach. I pray for Mario just about everyday in the hopes that all that's he's been through will pay off in his near future. I know sometimes I give him a hard time but it's only because I want to see him succeed, that's how much I care for him. I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost him [again] so he shall remain very near & dear to me, and those of you who don't like it, I'm sorry but this is one of those people I can't let go. Love & support it or just leave me alone.

~Bio of Mario~

Mario L Brown was born July 30, 1988. If Lil Wayne was a woman he would marry her lol no homo but Jay-Z is the best rapper alive in his heart. He comes from a large family; he has 8 brothers and sisters from what's he's told me. He's a member of the Alpha chapter of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. (Fall 08). If there's one thing you can do to make him mad is not answering the phone or responding to a text, oh and texting is one of his favorite things to do lol. He is in love with Creamy chicken ramen noodles and banana nut muffins by hostess, though the ramen has to be cooked extra long for him to eat AND enjoy it lol. He cleans his room when he's upset to burn off steam and he doesn't talk much about how he's feeling at the present time. He graduated from Pike High School but went to a number of different high schools; 4 if I'm not mistakened. He puts his name is almost every song when he sings it lol. He's been through many struggles of his life but he still manages to find a way out of it. He's gained a lot of confidence since his younger years and is proud to say that he's got "swag" now lol. If there's one thing that Mario could ever want in life is...from what he's told me, a well paying job. Believe it or not Mario is a great basketball player! He's played in high school & for a little bit in college his first semester...He loves pizza from pizza express & he likes gifts that come from the heart, though he does get excited when things are bought for him too lol. Mario has a lot of friends but his close friends include the people in his fave five (names will not be disclosed) and two other girls who attend Ball State. ^_^ Mario drives a '95 White Chevy whom he calls Betsy, he loves that truck...He loves Apple products & has participated in a some kind of play once before. Mario loves life quotes & has a tattoo on his chest that reads "Only the Strong Survive." He plans on getting another soon. He likes light skinned women, & he loves watching a good movie. Another pet peeve of Mario's is people who don't use their common sense if they have any...It drives him nuts. Overall he is a very friendly person & easy to get along with. He's often times misunderstood but those who stand by him through the wire can say that Mario is an overall good person and he means well!

~Favorite Memories with Mario~

My alltime favorite memory with Mario was when he came to my gospel choir's christmas concert in 2007. After the performance we chilled in his brother's room and clowned the whole night! It was one of the best nights we've ever had together. I remember when we were "frollicking" through run-down bloomington's hills and he lost his shoes in this swamp-like marsh lol. I also remember looking for it the next day early in the morning & found it! ^_^ I remember when we dated for 7 months; they were the best months I've ever spent with another person...I remember when we used to argue about EVERYTHING and half the time now we still do, but I also remember how later on in the day or two we find a consensus and express why we were wrong & what we'd do to make things better. I remember when we first met, lol, an after-party at a football player's house after we beat Purdue! We were laughin at how this girl was terribly twerking this guy lol, wow right? I remember calling IU Safe to go over his house, the one on 17th lol. I remember riding in Betsy with him to nap thinking that we wouldn't make it but we always did. I remember talking to him on the phone after we met & how he talked to everyone else in the background (Davin & Frank) but me lol...I remember threatening to hang up on him for doing so too...lol. I remember when he was supposed to come over once & didn't cause he had to finish a paper for his class but he called me at 4 o'clock in the morning to tell me so lol (& I answered the phone too). I remember when I first fell in love with him. I remember "I'm Mario Brown, you know me; let me lay you down on the B-E-D" LOL!!!! I remember "stank" long story...I remember when he introduced me to his closest friends Davin, Ces, & Jill at this party in the Union. I remember going to Tanvi & Lisa's room with him. I remember eating at Wright together & how he used to react whenever he took a bite outta the pizza from Sbarro lol, good times...I remember when he came allllll the way to my house in the G to visit around the christmas holiday & I remember making him & his brother bracelets for that very holiday. I remember the second party we went to, the Thanksgiving Kappa party in Gary, again, good times...I remember when he named his hangnail at O'Charley's and when he saw it wasn't there anymore he said "Rest in Peace Cornelious" lol. I remember when we used to travel to Nap together and I remember meeting almost all of his family...I remember meeting his mom in particular for the first time, it was hilarious. I remember when he used to know my cycle, lol. I remember when I first saw him *** & I didn't know what to do...I remember when I told him I always wanted to be kissed in the rain & he stopped where we were (in front of Willkie) & ran out the car & gave me a peck on the lips, gay I know but I loved it even still. I remember all the cards he's ever gave me & I remember how he used to make me feel everytime I saw him...I remember so much but however this blog can't withstand it all so I'll just leave it at that lol...

Mommy

~MyPatricia Turner~

This lovely, strong woman is my mommy. She's the reason why I want to do so much for our family because she's done so much for me! This is the most important woman in my life now & forever...She's taught me many lessons & in turn I've taught her some as well. Our relationship between each other didn't start off well but later down the line I began to see why she was the way she is. Even though it took some time I give NOTHING but love & respect for her. I would do anything for her...My plans in the future involve so much of her it's ridiculous.

~Bio of Mom~

MyParticia Turner was born MyPatricia Waddell in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam May 26, 19-- lol. She never experienced Kindergarten but she did well in school nonetheless. She started school in Gary, Indiana immediately after moving there. Her father was an African-American war veteran. MyPatricia likes to be called just "Patricia" because of how complicated everyone makes it to say her name. Her mother calls her "Mydell." She met my father when she was in high school and they've been inseparable ever since...She gave birth to her first child on July 28, 1989 & gave birth to her last child on January 31, 2009. She loves her family & would virtually do anything she can to help them out when they are in need. If there's one thing that ticks her off is if you plan something unexpected. Mom is very organized & likes her things in a certain way ESPECIALLY the way our days as a family goes...So if you've made plans today for tomorrow night and you ask her can you carry them out it'll be a hard time for you to get a yes if you don't have everything together lol. In the most un-biased way possible, Patricia loves her kids ^_^; Everything she does is for the kids and she does a great job at taking care of them ALL. All Patricia could ever want is a lovely house